Bigger and better adventures

The bottom drawer of our freezer (we have an “upside-down” fridge) belongs to Talia. It’s full of plastic tubs containing ice-cube-sized portions of stewed fruit, mashed veg, pulverised chicken, flakes of fish in cheese sauce etc. Wedged in the middle of this oyster of solids was a little pearl - the last remaining bottle of my frozen expressed breast milk (EBM).

I’ve rambled at length about the ups and downs of milk production. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I wanted to do more, but now I’m happy that I did as much as I could. If I had to do it all over again, I would. So what’s the story with this bottle of EBM? Talia stopped breastfeeding exclusively last October, and ceased completely at the end of January. It’s now the end of March. This bottle of liquid gold was dated 21/6/07 - the day before Talia came home from hospital. This bottle of milk has reigned, happy and glorious, over the bottom drawer of the freezer for NINE months, as one by one all the other bottles (older) and baggies (younger) of EBM were defrosted and used up. (Don’t worry, my freezer is cold enough that it was safe to keep it longer than the usually recommended three months). This bottle was a testament to my hours of expressing but also a life-line which I had clung to for months in case of emergency, but which was no longer needed now that Talia is healthy and happy with formula and solids.

So two days ago, a week after Talia’s first birthday, I liberated this vintage bottle from its cryogenic home and defrosted it. Today Talia has been drinking half formula, half EBM, the final instalment of my first gift to her. It doesn’t usually happen, but today she completely finished every bottle. Tonight we will both go to sleep satisfied.

Adam Gilchrist isn’t the only big retirement of the season; my boobs have definitely played their last Test for Australia too. Talia is pleased to see them - but only for about a minute each side, and only before breakfast. After that there is plenty of smiles and giggles but no more sucking.

So here for the record is our last breastfeeding song, to the tune of Old MacDonald.

Young Miss Talia had a mum, e-i-e-i-o
And on that mum she had a boob, e-i-e-i-o
With a suck, suck here and a slurp, slurp here
Here a suck there a slurp, everywhere a suck and slurp
Young Miss Talia had a mum, e-i-e-i-o

I don’t feel the urge to sing while she’s bottle feeding - and these days I make up a bottle and hand it to Talia who holds it with both hands and feeds herself. Clever cherub!

New foods since last week: lentils, spinach, parsnip, fish

Corrected age: 5 months, 2 weeks
Weight: 5.410kg
Diet: breastmilk, formula

Giving up solids for a week certainly didn’t do Talia’s weight any harm! Up 245g, the most she has put on in a week, ever. Certainly the most since she left hospital.

I started solids again today, farex mixed with pear and I am fairly sure more stayed in than came out again.

One of my mothers’ group sent me the following email, and I knew just how she felt.

Whoever said there’s no use crying over spilt milk was a cold, heartless bastard, if he was standing next to a woman with a breast pump in one hand and a dropped bottle on the floor.
…take it from me.

I have decided not to express milk any more. I was doing it in the evening after Talia goes to bed, but I just can’t be bothered. I’m offering breast only first thing in the morning, and breast before bottle the rest of the day. I don’t know how long it will last, but hopefully through to the end of the year. I’ve already managed to go longer than I thought would be possible!

Oliver the Magnificat came to live with us in 2004 as a refugee after friends had their second child and noticed Oliver suffering from what could best be described as “toddler stress”.

He enjoyed being an only cat in our quiet house, where he has been the undisputed ruler of the sofas for the last three years.

Then, a big change. Without any warning, there is another small creature in the house and it seems to have first priority on laps. It makes unpredictable, loud noises. Even worse, it is fed rather more frequently than he is.

What is a cat to do?

We have been singing to Talia since the very first weeks in the NICU. Sometime we sing “real” songs, and sometimes we just make them up as we go. I’m particularly good at making up new words - or making up the tune if I forget how it goes - or simply substituting la la la if all else fails!
As I’m sure our repertoire will change over time, I thought I would post the lyrics to some of them before they are forgotten.

This is one of our breastfeeding songs, to the tune of “Mumma’s little baby loves shortnin’ bread”

Mumma’s little baby loves milkbar, milkbar
Mumma’s little baby loves milkbar best [repeat]

I took her to the doctor, the doctor said
Feed that baby on milkbar (breast)

Mumma’s little baby loves milkbar, milkbar
Mumma’s little baby loves milkbar best [repeat... ad nauseam!]

Corrected age: 5 months, 1 week
Weight: 5.165kg
Diet: breastmilk, formula, the merest taste of solids (potato and sweet potato)

Monday morning the Child Health Centre is open for anyone to weigh their baby, so I try to hike up there every week and see how Talia is progressing. She has been very slow to gain weight since leaving hospital, which has caused me a lot of stress and contributed to a bout of postnatal depression. I was so keen to breastfeed exclusively and it was a great disappointment to find that I am a “low-flow” mother and barely able to produce enough milk to keep my baby alive. Fortunately things have improved for both of us since I introduced formula, and now I am still breastfeeding “for medicinal purposes” but without the stress of knowing it is Talia’s only source of food.

I started Talia on “solids” (which are anything but solid!) a couple of weeks ago and have tried Farex, pear, sweet potato and potato. At first she just screwed up her face and wouldn’t have a bar of either farex and pear (”Eat it yourself, Mum!”) but then she seemed to grasp the idea and opened wide as I spooned in a mix of milk and mashed potato. Unfortunately, as fast as it went in, she pushed it with her tongue - straight back out again. I don’t know that she actually swallowed any of it. So I am going to wait for another week or so and see if the tongue reflex goes away.